Posts Tagged ‘hope’
Saved by a Unicorn: How I Found the Positive in Grief, One Stitch at a Time
By Cee Fisher
I’ve tried many ways of handling grief. I love the challenge of redirecting the negative energy derived from grief, turning it into something positive and useful. Of course, things don’t always go as planned. Still, it feels good to know I have the power to switch things up and try to create more of a sustainable balance in my life. It gives me a sense of control and helps me to feel more hopeful.
One of my most devastating experiences with grief was when I found out my soulmate, Reuben, died. He was the rarest, most caring soul I’d ever met. People respected him. They listened to him. Reuben and I were engaged for a couple of years, and although our breakup was complicated there are a few facts you should know. When we last spoke, we were living in separate countries. He was living on kidney dialysis. I was raising our son alone. They had never met. We were making plans of reuniting. Somewhere along the line, our phone numbers changed and caused us to lose touch. I searched for him for ten years. When he died, a letter that he had written to me was discovered in his belongings. In the letter, he said he needed to speak to me as soon as possible. We never got to have that conversation, and he never got to meet his son.
Googling his name had become very routine, but this time was different. A link appeared. My jaw dropped excitedly until I followed the link and saw the word “late” typed next to his name. That was it for me. That was when my world came crashing down. It felt as if I was violently kicked off cloud 9 and slammed in the gut with a sledgehammer. I opened my mouth and felt my soul wailing, but it was as if I were crying in reverse. I could not breathe. I truly believe that was the day I gained full understanding of what a meltdown feels like.
I hid in my room for about a week, curled up in fetus position, aimlessly crying out Reuben’s name. I felt totally lost and defeated, and knew I needed something else to focus on. Life had taught me that. I needed to engage in something therapeutic, and washing dishes was definitely out of the question. I decided to buy a crochet hook. I crocheted every day, and soon began receiving requests for paid orders. I began selling at outdoor events, surrounded by nature. In no time, I was designing and crocheting custom-made items, including a unicorn my neighbor ordered for her daughter.
Looking back, I had no idea how to even continue to live. A simple attempt at something therapeutic sent the negative bereavement energy into a positive direction. It made me realize my strengths, at a time when I felt I had none at all. It provided a space where I am now better able to manage grief when it hits.
Collective Grief
Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW
When the death of a person affects many members in a community, city, country, or across the world, people will experience collective grief.
Some things that can help people through the experience of collective grief across a community include:
– Holding gatherings that allow people share the pain of loss and to remember and honour the person who died;
– Sharing reflective and supportive posts on social media that address the loss and grief being felt by so many;
– It can be helpful to tag the person who died, so it shows up on their page where people can look through for solace. It may be a good idea to avoid tagging the family members of the person who died so that they can
choose when to opt into engaging with these memories without overwhelming notifications;
– Encouraging opportunities for community members to give and receive empathy and compassion;
– Respecting personal differences in the experience and expression of grief among community members, as everyone
grieves in their own way.
While many people across a community may be feeling the loss, it’s important to respect the privacy of those most impacted by the death. Give the immediate family time and privacy. Although many may mourn their loved one, it can be burdensome for the family to have to receive community grief at a time when they are coping with their own grief process.
Marija – The wilderness of grief
Marija – The wilderness of grief
Marija discussed acknowedging all aspects of grief and living with grief.
Justin – Expression and grief
Justin – Expression and grief
Justin talks about what his grief is like and hope
Justin – The power of lyrics
Justin – The power of lyrics
Justin talks about lyrics and hope
Krista – “My wish”
Krista – “My wish”
Krista discusses why she thinks helping others is important. Krista continues to grieve the death of her son from opioid overdose.
Maureen – “Pregnancy and infant loss”
Maureen – “Pregnancy and infant loss”
Maureen explains how pregnancy and infant loss is often misunderstood or underestimated.
Maureen – “Peer vs professional support”
Maureen – “Peer vs professional support”
Maureen talks about getting help and what is right for you.
Christian – “Grief can bring new life”
Christian – “Grief can bring new life”
Christian explains where he found hope in grief.
Rosie Koostachin- “We Matter Campaign”
Rosie Koostachin- “We Matter Campaign”
Rosie talks about her life, why you can’t give up hope and that life is important.
Andrew – “Loss of a twin”
Andrew – “Loss of a twin”
Andrew talks about the loss of his twin brother, time in the womb and that there are people out there that can help. Andrew continues to grieve the death of his twin brother by mishap.
Ellen – “Grieving her grandmother”
Ellen – “Grieving her grandmother”
Ellen talks about her grief and the loss of her grandmother.