Loss Comes In Layers

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW

When we experience death, it is often perceived as one-dimensional. A person died. We are sad and we miss them. That is grief.
Grief is much more complex than this perspective suggests. When someone we love dies, there are multiple aspects to the loss that impact our grief journey.

Of course, we do miss the person who died. When we love someone and we know that they will be absent from the rest of our lives, it does make us sad. It also opens our broken hearts to myriad other feelings, depending on the relationship.
When someone in our life dies, we may also lose our status or role as created by that relationship. When our parents die, we become an orphan. When our spouse dies, we become a widow or widower. The death of a child is so powerful that there is no similar word to identify the new role a bereaved parent takes on. With or without a special term for the new status, our role often changes with the death of someone so intimately connected to us.

In addition to this shift in roles, we may also face the loss of our community. This is especially true if our regular daily interactions revolved around our role in relationship to the person who died. It’s also true if the death means we have to move or change our living circumstances in some other significant way.

These losses are often accompanied by the disruption of our hopes and dreams; the vision we held for the future. It can feel as if we were building a jigsaw puzzle, with the image of the life we desired coming together. The death acts to toss the entire puzzle into the air. As it lands we find we are missing some pieces and in fact, we no longer have the same image to work toward. We have unfamiliar pieces and no pretty picture to match them to.

Death takes many things from us. We may lose a sense of safety, and come to realize how little we control in the world around us. We may lose our innocence and grapple with our faith.

But as we find our way through grief, we may also make gains. We may find comfort and love from unexpected corners of our world. We may find grace and forgiveness as we learn to hold ourselves with compassion while we learn to carry the weight of our painful loss. We may come to know that we are much stronger than we once believed, even as we learn to hold hope and joy for life at the same time as we make space for the pain and heartache of grief.

an orange sunset over a lake. There is lad in the distance and a small piece of land poking out on the right side of the photo.

How We Learn to Cope With Grief

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW

How We Learn to Cope With Grief

Death inevitably brings grief when the person who died is someone we love. Grief is never easy,
even when the death is one that comes in the natural order of life; a loss we were expecting.
We learn to cope with grief through experiencing it. Perhaps our first loss is the death of a pet.
We may mourn a cuddly friend who showed us unconditional love, but the rest of our world
stays more or less the same.

Later, if things go as they often do in families, you may experience the death of a grandparent.
Even when the relationship is close, we can often come to terms with such a loss because it is
considered usual to experience the death of the eldest family members.
Sometimes, we experience “out-of-order” deaths. An infant or child dies. A friend, a classmate,
a cousin or a sibling. Perhaps an aunt or uncle dies, or maybe even a parent. These deaths
teach us something different about grief and loss.

As we encounter death, we learn what it is to adapt to the absence of the one we cared about.
We figure out how to cope with feelings. We find ways to make sense of what has happened
and what is true in the aftermath of loss.

Each death we experience brings us new understanding. A different perspective is discovered
through the unique grief related to each special relationship. Because grief is an expression of
love, the appearance of grief after each loss is different according to the relationship.
Our development of a grieving style and rituals that serve us in the aftermath of a loss is also
created through these experiences. When we learn about death first-hand as a young child, and
receive comfort and guidance that allows us to move through grief at our own pace, we
gradually develop coping skills that prepare us and help us move through later encounters with
loss. If this is true for you, know that you have everything you need to carry your grief and come
to terms with death as a part of life.

Sometimes we have not experienced a gradual, gentle introduction to death in a manner that
teaches us how to manage grief. Instead, death arrives suddenly and harshly in an unexpected
order. If this is true for you, know that you can bear this grief. You have a deep well of strength
from which to draw, including coping skills that have seen you through other types of hard times.
Whether you’re experienced with grief, or new to this painful process of adapting to a world
without the physical presence of a loved one, do the things that bring you comfort. Cry when
you need to. Talk it out. Write it out. Make art. Sip your favourite hot beverage. Listen to your
favourite music. Stretch and gently move your body. Breathe; deep slow breaths will activate the
calming centre of your nervous system. Listen to your body and soul as you move through the
rhythms of grief at your own pace, in your own time.

It’s World Suicide Prevention Day and I Hope You Stay

Post by Maureen Pollard, MSW, RSW

It’s World Suicide Prevention Day and I Hope You Stay

It’s World Suicide Prevention Day (WSPD) and in keeping with the theme of working together to prevent suicide, I have worked with a team of amazing artists to create a song called I Hope You Stay.

As a Registered Social Worker, I have spent the last 10 years in private practice walking alongside people experiencing many types of grief, including the traumatic grief of suicide loss. My conversations with survivors of suicide loss have contributed to a passion for suicide prevention.

Survivors of suicide loss experience a full range of the usual emotions associated with grief, along with a hefty dose of guilt, remorse, shame and stigma. It is evident that suicide doesn’t end pain, it just transfers deep distress to survivors who then carry the weight of suicide loss the rest of their days.

Following an event I hosted for International Survivors of Suicide Loss Day in 2019, I was thinking about some people I know who live in great pain and frequently contemplate suicide. I wrote some lyrics and a melody, and brought them to Murray Foster at the Toronto Songwriting School. Murray used his versatile talents to help make it a great song, then provided the instrumentation for the track. Rob Quartly, founder of Grief Stories, connected me with Ellen Torrie, who recorded a beautiful vocal track. When Murray sent along the final mix, I created a video version, and Rob created a lyrics video.

I Hope You Stay offers possibilities for those who love someone who is thinking about suicide and don’t know what to say. It can be hard to have open, direct conversations about suicide, but it can be the one thing that turns a person back toward life and helps prevent a lifetime of heartbreak for family and friends.

Above all, this song is my message of hope and healing for those struggling with thoughts of suicide. I know it’s hard. Really hard. Still, I Hope You Stay.